The world’s most pressing and dangerous threat has been neutralized. World leaders flying into Paris with large, absolutely necessary, jets and huge lines of limousines have fixed climate change.
In Paris, that lovely place were a few weeks ago partiers were exposed to a minor altercation with some disgruntled victims of European oppression, felt the true power of the committed communities of nations as a climate agreement was signed.
I’m sure the families of the probably deserving, victims of the Jihadist protest, are now finally resting easy. As everyone knows climate change is absolutely the biggest cause of terrorism and Jihadist
attacks protest. But fear no more. The most wonderful aspect of all this is that all it took was some money. If we’d only known sooner.
Just by giving corrupt countries a little more spending money and an agreement which is (sort of) binding (and sort of not), we have ensured desperate countries will create and use much more efficient means of power. So, we will give developing countries, in other words countries that aren’t capable of running themselves without corruption and graft, at least $100 billion annually. Because the problem has been that these countries simply haven’t had enough money thrown at them in order to run competently.
So folks, while you work your ass off paying higher and higher utility bills as your wages stay at 1990 levels remember your great leaders have saved us all from this hard to describe and hard to demonstrate danger.